Monday, 28 August 2017

Alone but not lonely - Style 'nd personal post

Hey Guys,

It's been a long time since I did a chatty personal post like this and I've never put personal text along side an outfit post but lets give it a go. So I wanna talk about being alone physically but not being lonely. 

In the romantic sense I am seriously alone, I have only had one actual boyfriend and that was over four years ago. My thoughts on relationships are always changing, as a kid I thought everything just happened the way it did to my parents and grandparents (meet a guy at uni, graduate and marry him a few years later), then as a pre-teen I was pretty much a hopless romantic listening to Taylor Swift love songs but now I'm closest to Samantha out of all the SATC girls probably. I have dated people at uni but no one serious and I know 12 year old me would be surprised at how okay I am with this.

I watched Sex and the city for the first time last summer (shocking I know) and along with many other films / shows and my own amazing friends it kinda changed the way I thought about everything dating and friends wise. Hopefully I am exaggerating I probably realised these things before last summer but every time I re-watch it it reinforces things like how we should just chill out about dating.

I'm trying to be more relaxed about dating and stop with the asking the group chat how I should reply to his weird text and not to put as much pressure on myself for example on those nights we go out with the intention of pulling, yeah they should stop.
I have always been good at just being myself from day one, I don't want to put on a more 'professional' / 'glamorous' or 'cool' version of myself as someone gets to know me, what is the point.

Now aside from dating all through school I was one of those people with 2/3 close friends rather than a massive group and still am. I have three close friends at university and two back home and I know I'm only about to start 3rd year at university so its pretty ridiculous that I'm already worrying about this stuff but I've been thinking about what will have after graduation and we all either get jobs in various cities or move back to our home towns. It'll be the first time since school and uni that I won't see my best friends everyday either at school or due to living down the road from them. I have over a year to prepare for this so it doesn't exactly count on this list of ways I'm alone but not lonely. 

Last year at uni I had a pretty tricky living situation living and I felt like I was living on my own most of the time but I actually grew to love it. Mainly for totally selfish reasons like having complete control over the tele. Due to my part time jobs in Falmouth I've gone back to university pretty early and am living in our new house (with different housemates this year don't worry) on my own for a few weeks. Honestly its harder than I thought, well only after 9pm when its darker, the spiders start to appear and as its technically flats there's always noises from the building so its a little bit creepy but I'm getting used to it.

Hat - Topshop / Top - Urban outfitters / Trousers - TU at Sainsburys / Shoes - Zara

So I've been learning to love my own company, eating out or going to the cinema on my own is totally fine. I love going on little adventures to exploring new towns or long walks on my own too its just super relaxing. I'm not going as far to say all that crap about 'dating yourself'' but I am understanding the importance of taking time to yourself and not depending on company.

P.S hope you enjoyed this wordy style of post from me.

Love Charlotte

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